Ruth Patrick Darlene of WomenSV Raises Awareness on the Lethality Risks of Coercive Control and Stalking

Coercive Control in California
5 min readJun 20, 2024

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As the nonprofit’s founder and Executive Director, Ruth Patrick Darlene of WomenSV has dedicated herself to raising awareness around subtle forms of abuse, such as coercive control and covert abuse. Ruth Patrick Darlene has educated thousands of providers, from law enforcement to therapists and physicians, to recognize the risks and support survivors of domestic abuse.

Until recently, subtle forms of abuse such as coercive control and covert abuse were not taken seriously. Coercive control only recently became included in California law, protecting survivors with the right to obtain a restraining order with FC6320. Subtle forms of abuse are often difficult to prove, as they rarely leave forensic evidence behind. Still, Ruth Patrick Darlene warns that the results of coercive control can be lethal, a reason that stalking and coercive control must be taken seriously by law enforcement.

“Someone who engages in coercive control views their romantic partner as an object or resource to use and use up. They treat their intimate partner like a possession. And what is the ultimate right of property ownership? The right to dispose of it when it is no longer useful or needed.” Ruth Patrick Darlene describes a covert abuser as motivated by power, possessions, and social status. They do not respond well when things do not go their way.

Coercive control has been indicated in studies to be associated with episodes of violent behavior. Women who report experiencing coercive control are more likely to report experiencing physical domestic violence.

Ruth Patrick Darlene echoes the reports of forensic psychologist Dr. Reid Meloy, who wrote that stalking posed a significant lethality risk, especially when involving an intimate partner.

Stalking has reportedly occurred in 94% of murders.

The purpose of bringing attention to these risks is not to spread fear but to create a level of risk awareness that can empower survivors to make informed decisions when safety planning.

Understanding Coercive Control and Stalking

What is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is a form of abuse where an individual exerts power and dominance over their partner through a series of manipulative behaviors. These actions are intended to create a sense of fear, dependency, and helplessness in the victim. Unlike physical abuse, coercive control is often subtle and can include tactics like isolation, intimidation, degradation, and control over daily activities.

Key Characteristics of Coercive Control:

  • Isolation: Cutting off the victim from friends, family, and other support networks.
  • Monitoring: Constantly checking on the victim’s activities, communications, and whereabouts.
  • Manipulation: Using guilt, threats, or deception to control the victim’s behavior.
  • Financial Control: Restricting access to money or other resources to create dependency.
  • Threats and Intimidation: Using threats of harm to the victim or their loved ones to enforce compliance.

What is Stalking?
Stalking involves repeated and unwanted attention, harassment, or contact by one person towards another, causing the victim to feel unsafe. Stalking behaviors can include following the victim, sending unwanted messages or gifts, damaging property, and making threats.

Key Characteristics of Stalking:

  • Persistent Contact: Unwanted phone calls, texts, emails, or social media messages.
  • Surveillance: Watching or following the victim in person or through electronic means.
  • Property Damage: Vandalizing the victim’s property to intimidate or send a message.
  • Threatening Behavior: Making explicit or implicit threats to harm the victim or their loved ones.

The Lethality Risks of Coercive Control and Stalking
Both coercive control and stalking pose significant risks to the safety and well-being of victims. The constant fear and stress can lead to severe psychological trauma and, in many cases, escalate to physical violence.

Coercive Control and Violence
Studies have shown that coercive control is a strong predictor of future violence. Victims of coercive control are more likely to experience physical abuse as the abuser’s need for dominance intensifies. The insidious nature of coercive control means that victims may not recognize the danger until it is too late.

Stalking and Lethality
Stalking significantly increases the risk of lethal outcomes, particularly when it involves an intimate partner. The obsessive behavior of stalkers can escalate quickly, leading to violent confrontations. Research indicates that stalking behaviors are present in the majority of intimate partner homicides.

How to Protect Yourself from Coercive Control and Stalking

If you suspect you are a victim of coercive control or stalking, it is crucial to take steps to protect yourself. Here are some practical tips:

Document the Behavior

  • Keep Records: Document every incident of coercive control or stalking. This can include keeping a private journal, saving text messages and emails, and recording phone calls (if legal in your area).
  • Gather Evidence: Take photos of any property damage, injuries, or other evidence of abuse.
  • Witnesses: If possible, have friends, family, or neighbors witness and document abusive behaviors.

Report the Behavior

  • Contact Authorities: Report incidents of coercive control and stalking to the police. Provide them with your documented evidence to support your case.
  • Restraining Orders: Seek a restraining order to legally prohibit the abuser from contacting or approaching you.
  • Legal Advice: Seek legal counsel that specializes in domestic violence cases to understand your rights and options.

Seek Support

Raising Awareness and Advocacy

Ruth Patrick Darlene’s work with WomenSV is crucial in raising awareness about the dangers of coercive control and stalking. By educating professionals and the public, she is helping to create a community that is better equipped to recognize and respond to these forms of abuse.

Educating Professionals
Ruth Patrick Darlene has provided training to thousands of providers, including:

  • Law Enforcement: Helping officers understand the nuances of coercive control and stalking to better protect victims.
  • Therapists and Physicians: Educating mental health and medical professionals to recognize signs of abuse and provide appropriate support.
  • Community Leaders: Raising awareness among community leaders to foster a supportive environment for survivors.

Coercive control and stalking are serious forms of abuse that can have lethal consequences. Thanks to the efforts of advocates like Ruth Patrick Darlene, there is growing awareness and understanding of these dangers. By educating the public and professionals, advocating for legal reforms, and supporting survivors, we can work towards a society where these insidious forms of abuse are recognized and addressed effectively.

If you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control or stalking, don’t hesitate to seek help. Document the behavior, report it to the authorities, and reach out for support. Your safety and well-being are paramount, and resources are available to help you navigate these challenging situations.

For more information and resources, visit WomenSV’s website, YouTube channel, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and Pinterest.

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Coercive Control in California

Dedicated to exposing coercive control in California and supporting domestic violence survivors ❤️