WomenSV Shares Resources for Survivors of Technology Abuse and Coercive Control

WomenSV, a California-based nonprofit focused on domestic violence prevention, recently published a comprehensive resource guide aimed at assisting survivors of technology abuse and coercive control. Founded by Ruth Patrick Darlene in 2011, the Los Altos-based organization provided direct advocate assistance to over 1500 women before shifting its focus to education and prevention. Recognizing the growing need for accessible assistance, WomenSV hosts an online directory of resources for survivors on their their website, womensv.org.

WomenSV — short for Women of Silicon Valley — reflects the organization’s roots in the Bay Area, where it was established to address the unique challenges faced by domestic violence survivors in a tech-centric community. With a significant collection of survivor resources and a heightened focus on preventative education, WomenSV now provides information to survivors worldwide.

In this article, we’ll explore how WomenSV provides critical information to survivors, including resources for combating coercive control and technology-facilitated abuse.

Understanding Coercive Control and Technology Abuse

Coercive control is a systematic pattern of controlling behaviors intended to intimidate, isolate, and manipulate a partner, resulting in a loss of autonomy and self-worth. It often involves emotional, financial, and psychological abuse, creating a prison-like environment where victims feel trapped and dependent on their abuser.

Technology abuse, or technology-facilitated abuse, involves using digital tools to exert control over someone. Abusers may leverage everything from social media to location-tracking apps to monitor, intimidate, and manipulate their partners. In the tech-driven environment of Silicon Valley, where WomenSV was founded, survivors frequently report these experiences, highlighting the need for education and support tailored to this type of abuse.

The Interplay of Technology Abuse and Coercive Control

Technology abuse has become a frequent tactic in coercive relationships, as the abuser uses various technological methods to maintain power and control. These include cyberstalking, social media harassment, unauthorized surveillance, and other tactics that invade the survivor’s privacy. Below, we’ll examine ten common forms of technology abuse and offer insights into how survivors can protect themselves.

10 Technology Abuse Tactics in Controlling Relationships and How to Respond

1. Smear campaigns

A smear campaign is a coordinated effort to destroy a person’s reputation and socially isolate them, usually through the spread of false information online or on social media. In addition to attacking their target, abusers will often direct smear campaigns toward anyone or even any services that offer support for victims. These attempts to discredit the victim and dismantle their support system are often triggered after a relationship ends, when the abuser tries to regain their power and seek revenge by perpetuating the abuse.

Abusers often enlist “flying monkeys,” or allies who amplify the abuse, creating a network of harassment designed to isolate the survivor and discredit their experiences. They might contact a survivor’s friends, family members or even their professional contacts.

In extreme cases, wealthy abusers have even been known to hire people to write and spread false information about their former partners online.

What to do: Documenting instances of false information is essential. Survivors can counteract these attacks by sharing their truth with trusted allies. Having a concise summary of the abuse experience may also help survivors communicate their side of the story effectively.

2. Hacking

Abusers often hack into their partners’ devices, social media profiles, and financial accounts, using these breaches to monitor, control, or steal from them. This type of intrusion can be difficult to detect, particularly if the abuser is subtle in their approach.

What to do: Survivors should regularly monitor their devices for signs of unauthorized access and change passwords frequently. Organizations like Operation Safe Escape can provide guidance and connect survivors with cybersecurity professionals who specialize in safeguarding against domestic abuse.

Survivors may want to use another computer away from their home, such as at a trusted friend’s house or at a library, if they suspect their devices have been hacked.

3. Social media harassment

Social media platforms are designed to facilitate connection, but abusers exploit this for harassment, often sending threatening messages, sharing harmful posts, or even creating fake profiles to stalk the survivor. While many social media platforms have community guidelines prohibiting harassment, the harsh reality is that these policies often go unenforced. The sheer number of users on any given platform makes it challenging if not impossible to moderate every piece of content. Automated moderation tools and understaffed moderators cannot catch every policy violation, and even reported content can slip through the cracks. Perpetrators of technology abuse take advantage of this, and unfortunately they often get away with extensive harassment on social media.

What to do: While it’s not a perfect remedy, reporting social media harassment is a good first step. Even if no action is taken at first, victims can continue to report the content and ask others to do the same. Survivors can report abusive accounts and posts to platform administrators and consider making their profiles private and blocking the abuser’s accounts. Documentation of harassment can be helpful if the survivor decides to pursue legal action.

4. Cyberstalking and doxing

Cyberstalking includes obsessive monitoring of the survivor’s online activity, doxing (sharing personal information), and using location-tracking features to monitor their physical movements. Abusers may leverage publicly available information, shared social media posts, or even track location through family sharing apps.

What to do: Survivors should avoid posting real-time location updates and consider disabling location-sharing features on their devices. Reporting cyberstalking to law enforcement is a viable option in many jurisdictions, as it is often a prosecutable offense.

5. Sharing non-consensual images

Sharing private images or videos without consent, whether real or digitally manipulated, is a form of image-based abuse. The goal is often to shame, humiliate, coerce or blackmail the survivor.

What to do: Survivors can seek support from organizations like Stop Non-Consensual Image Abuse and Take It Down, which assist in removing these images from the internet. In cases where survivors suspect this form of abuse, legal recourse may also be an option.

6. Misuse of smart devices

Smart home devices, including doorbell cameras, voice assistants, and connected appliances, are becoming common in homes, but abusers can misuse them for monitoring and control. Some abusers remotely access these devices to manipulate settings, causing distress for the survivor.

What to do: Survivors should disable or restrict access to smart devices and, where possible, reset device settings to regain control. Seeking help from a tech-savvy friend or contacting an organization specializing in technology abuse can provide additional protection.

7. Tracking devices
Small, inexpensive tracking devices like Bluetooth tags can easily be hidden in a person’s belongings or car, allowing the abuser to track the survivor’s movements without their knowledge. Cars with GPS systems can also be exploited if the abuser has access to tracking applications. For example, the Tesla app allows anyone with access to view the car’s location.

What to do: Regularly check personal belongings for any unfamiliar devices and, if necessary, use a Bluetooth scanner app to detect hidden tags. For iPhone users, Apple’s “AirTag detection” feature can alert them to unauthorized tracking devices nearby.

8. Hidden cameras

Survivors have reported finding hidden cameras in everyday household items, such as phone chargers, lightbulbs, and even shower heads. These devices are used to monitor and control the survivor’s movements and interactions.

What to do: Regularly inspect household items, particularly new or unfamiliar devices. Survivors may consider using a hidden camera detector or consulting a security professional if they suspect monitoring.

9. Keystroke logging software and spyware

Abusers often install spyware or keystroke logging software to monitor their partner’s online activity and capture sensitive information, including passwords, messages, and browsing history. This invasion of privacy provides the abuser with intimate knowledge of the survivor’s actions and communications.

Ruth Patrick Darlene warns that abusers might covertly install tracking software under the guise of being helpful. A computer-savvy abuser might offer to take care of a computer maintenance issue for their partner, then download additional software without their knowledge.

What to do: Survivors should conduct regular security checks on their devices, removing unfamiliar apps or software. Assistance from cybersecurity experts or organizations like Operation Safe Escape can help in securing devices and removing spyware.

10. Financial control through digital banking
Digital banking tools offer convenience but also enable abusers to control a partner’s finances, whether through unauthorized account access, blocking transactions, fraudulent transactions, or manipulating funds to create dependency.

What to do: Monitoring financial accounts for unusual activity and creating independent banking access can help prevent financial control. If access to financial independence is limited, survivors might want to seek support for financial abuse.

Recognizing the Signs and Seeking Support

One of WomenSV’s main goals is to educate the public about the subtle yet insidious nature of coercive control and technology abuse. Many survivors are unaware that certain behaviors constitute abuse, especially when the actions do not fit traditional notions of physical harm. Education is therefore critical in helping survivors recognize warning signs early and seek appropriate intervention.

The key is awareness, not paranoia. With a healthy understanding of the tactics involved in coercive control and technology abuse, survivors become empowered to recognize early signs of danger and take action to protect themselves rather than living in fear.

For those who are ready to take action, WomenSV offers a series of educational resources covering essential topics such as:

• Establishing personal boundaries: Understanding and setting boundaries is key to self-protection against coercive control. WomenSV’s materials provide strategies to recognize and assert personal boundaries.
• Securing digital privacy: WomenSV’s website includes technology safety tips and advice for recognizing red flags.
• Building a support network: Breaking free from coercive relationships often requires a reliable support system. WomenSV provides a list of support groups for ongoing assistance.

What to Do if Someone You Know is Experiencing Technology Abuse

If a friend, coworker, loved one, or acquaintance confides in you about suspected technology abuse, it’s crucial to respond with empathy and belief. Many survivors of technology abuse are often dismissed as “paranoid” or “overreacting,” which only serves to isolate them further and allow the abuse to continue, often escalating dangerously. The first and most impactful thing you can do is acknowledge their experience. Let them know that you believe them and that their concerns are valid. This affirmation can be incredibly powerful in a situation where they may feel unseen and unheard.

Once you’ve listened to them, you can offer gentle guidance by sharing resources that may be helpful. For instance, you could mention WomenSV’s technology abuse resource guide, available on their website, or point them toward Operation Safe Escape, an organization that specializes in cybersecurity for survivors of domestic and technology-facilitated abuse. Make sure your approach is non-intrusive; survivors may feel hesitant or fearful of taking action, so it’s essential to respect their pace and readiness.

Remember that listening is the most supportive action you can take. Giving them space to talk without judgment or pressure to take immediate steps can help them feel understood and supported. By standing with them and offering resources, you reassure them that they don’t have to go through this journey alone. Being an ally means creating a safe environment, validating their experience, and empowering them to make the choices that feel right for them.

In many cases, just knowing someone is there for them can be a lifeline, helping them to regain a sense of agency and the courage to take the next steps when they’re ready.

WomenSV: Empowering Survivors with Tools and Resources

WomenSV aims to equip survivors with both knowledge and practical tools to resist coercive control and technology abuse. Through educational seminars, workshops, and their online resource directory, WomenSV provides survivors with the means to reclaim their lives and regain their independence. The directory of resources available on womensv.org includes information on:

• Technology abuse: Informational resources and organizations offering services and information to survivors of coercive control and technology abuse. Click here for the WomenSV technology abuse survivor resource guide.
• Domestic violence hotlines: A list of agencies offering domestic violence survivor hotlines available 24/7.
• Support groups: A list of domestic violence survivor support groups available online.
• Safety plans: Safety planning guides and tips for survivors before, during and after leaving an abusive relationship.
• Articles and videos: Categorized educational articles and video presentations with information about subtle forms of domestic abuse.

By making these resources freely available online, WomenSV enables survivors from diverse backgrounds to find the support they need, regardless of geographic location. The organization’s efforts empower survivors to protect themselves and, ultimately, to break free from the cycle of abuse.

How to Support WomenSV

WomenSV is a community-supported nonprofit organization, and its continued efforts rely on the contributions of its supporters. There are multiple ways to support WomenSV’s mission:

• Donations: Contributions to WomenSV directly support the distribution and development of educational resources focused on domestic violence prevention. Donate to WomenSV here.
• YouTube: Subscribing to the WomenSV YouTube channel and watching their videos helps the organization grow its online presence and increase the visibility of its content so it can reach more survivors.
• Sharing resources: Raising awareness by sharing WomenSV’s videos, social media posts and resources can help reach survivors in need and educate the broader public about coercive control and technology abuse. WomenSV is active on Pinterest, Instagram and Facebook.

WomenSV provides a lifeline for survivors navigating the challenges of coercive control and technology abuse. By providing resources, education, and a network of support, WomenSV empowers individuals to break free from cycles of abuse, offering a path toward recovery, safety, and independence.